POEM STELLIUM

I’m done with hiding who I am because I don’t fit in with the tribe, cohort, cool people or whatever you want to call them. I’m not a sheep. I don’t need people to follow.

I’m done with being told I must try harder to be more sociable and fit in with others.
I’m done with pretending to be who I’m not. It’s exhausting and damaging.

I’m done with hiding my feelings and feeling ashamed for having them.

Who am I pretending for anyway?

Who gave them the authority to dictate how I behave or who I am?

I don’t need society’s permission to be me! I stay within the law; I don’t hurt others, so what has it got to do with them?

Only pigeons need to fit in pigeon holes. I’m not a pigeon, and neither are you.

I want to apologise to my younger self for not realising this sooner. I could have avoided quite a bit of pain. However, as the saying goes, it is better late than never.

It is natural to want to fit in with others to some degree. We like to connect with others.However, this should not mean sacrificing who we are to please others, which society wants us to do. It is like those in power want clones, not individuals. This is not a new trend; history is rife with examples of what happened to some who stood out from the crowd.

However, without those who see things differently and those willing to listen and embrace the possibilities, there would be no innovation or progress. Collaboration and adaptability are two crucial factors in progress.

I firmly believe that one of the most damaging things to people’s wellbeing is the increasing pressure to be like the rest of the crowd. Technology has become an amplifier for this rhetoric through social media influencers and an even keener spotlight on the lifestyles of the rich and famous. It’s hard enough at times to be comfortable in your skin without the seemingly endless noise telling us we should be fitter, thinner, prettier, sexier,
richer, more successful, etc.

If you find yourself caught up in this trap, here are a few things I’ve found helpful:

1. Turn the TV off. Reality shows are often more fictitious than dramas. The news spends
   very little time now telling us what has happened. Instead, it likes to crystal ball gaze and
   share gossip about the powerful, rich and famous.
2. Take time out for yourself. Do something just for you, no matter how frivolous or silly it
   may seem. I’m in my 40s, and I still play with plasticine.
3. Talk to someone about how you are feeling. If you don’t have a friend or family you think
   you can talk to openly; please reach out to an organisation that offers support.
4. Write your thoughts down and read them a few days later. Writing can provide some
   relief from the noise and objective clarity.

Please remember that you are not alone. It may feel like it, but there are others out there who will listen and support you while you make your way through the jungle of life.

WRITTEN BY LORNA SMART

BLOGGER @POEMSTELLIUM

INSTAGRAM @LORNASMARTWORDCRAFTER

LINKEDIN:WWW.LINKEDIN.COM/IN/LORNASMARTWORDCRAFTER/