Recovery

By Claire Pitchford

Trauma leaves a long lasting hangover
A haziness of memories unwanted whilst those desired slip away
They say time heals but there will always be a wound, a scar of the messy mind that hurt made
To embrace the journey towards a remedy requires softly treading footsteps and a unique braveness
You’re leaving behind the you of old, because she is no more
The grief of goodbye weighs heavily
Days travelled are mostly restorative but the path can run a wicked course burdening the brain with thoughts of the unwanted yesterday
A step back can feel like you are breaking all over again but you push forward, always moving despite the shackles of the past feeling heavier at times
The distance is long but with time, peace slowly replaces the tortured parts of yourself
Joyful memories that you thought were lost, return with a technicolour sharpness as though they were newly made, surprising you like a gift
The vision of your new self initially appears blurred and out of focus
Your eyes strain to see her, the outline of her once bent and broken form now holds herself straight and proud
You pick up the weight of the world from your shoulders and place it under your feet and dance whether it rains or shines, grateful for the lessons and who you now are