Most of us feel anxious at times in our lives. We may know what is at the root of that anxiety, but sometimes, it is unclear what led to it. Usually, the anxiety will only be for a short time.

However, for people with anxiety, these feelings often go on for much longer, can be very intense and become a daily occurrence. As a result, the feelings become disproportionate and distorted. These distortions then lead to anxiety intruding on their daily lives, significantly reducing the quality of it.

As someone who suffered this heightened level of anxiety for many years, I can confirm that it can be debilitating to be crippled by your mind. The feelings were so intense for a long time that I could not get behind them to find out where they originated from.

I worried about all sorts of things such as exams, did I have two socks the same colour on, whether I could get the bullies to like me, would I still have a job when I came back from my annual leave, would one crease in my trousers cost me the job I was applying for?

Some of these sound ridiculous, and that’s the problem with anxiety when it gets to that level. It doesn’t restrict itself to the “big” things; it’s a free for all on anything and everything, all of the time. It is exhausting on its own, never mind trying to carry on with your day-to-day life.

My anxiety also affected those around me, which added guilt to my already pained mind. I would text people asking if I had upset them, constantly apologising when it was not needed and was generally a bag of nerves.

This is why my heart breaks when I hear or read people telling those with prolonged anxiety to “take a chill pill” or “just stop worrying.” Before you open your mouth and say something that is not only unhelpful but potentially damaging, please remember this:

WE DO NOT LIKE FEELING THIS WAY, AND IF WE COULD “JUST STOP WORRYING”, WE WOULD!

Sadly, it is not that simple and not one way of tackling this problem will help everyone. I found some medication beneficial for the short term in turning down the volume a bit, but it soon stopped working, and higher doses did not work. I tried various other medications to no avail. Finally, a mixture of person-centred and cognitive behavioural therapy helped me discover what lay behind it, how to deal with it and how to see the early warning signs that it was taking hold again.

Please, I beg of you, even if you cannot understand what someone is going through, think before you speak.

Written by Lorna Smart

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram @lornasmartwordcrafter

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