the journey of acceptance can be a tough one to acknowledge, let alone embark on. However, there are several benefits that can serve to better yourself through this practice. This includes improving emotional regulation, reducing avoidance tactics, allowing yourself to exist without suppressing feelings, and reducing shame or guilt by non-attachment to emotions.

The challenge is finding peace with a situation that is beyond your control. Therefore, this path of acceptance can be applied to a range of different walks of life, including:

• Personal challenge – growth, self-acceptance 
• Relationships – supporting others, forgiveness, and embracing differences
• Life events – such as grief and loss, or change and uncertainty
• Workplace – receiving feedback, delegating, or change 

There are three notable steps on this path – acknowledging, allowing and accommodating. During this blog, we will explore these steps together.

Acknowledging

This is the step of acknowledging and embracing thoughts, feelings and experiences without judgement – even if these are unpleasant.

It is helpful to start by seeing your emotions differently. Negative emotions (for example, sadness, anger, or fear) are a normal part of being human and can be useful. For example, fear is a tool for survival and without this emotion, we would be unable to detect life-threatening danger. 

It is helpful to acknowledge that feelings are not permanent. They are in a constant state of fluctuation and will pass. It might be helpful to use imagery – for example, clouds, a train, or 

a wave. If we utilise the wave analogy – sometimes the emotion (or wave) may be more intense, sometimes calmer. It is important to not fight against the wave. 

Observe – To aid with this, it is advised to watch emotions mindfully. Observing the emotions from a third person perspective can be helpful with this – you don’t have to engage to react to the emotions. Just watch them – they may increase in intensity, stay the same, lessen or evolve into a different emotion. It is important to give space to the emotion and observe. 

Describe – It is also helpful to remember that you are not your emotions, and seeing this as a commentator is helpful here. For example, ‘there is fear, sadness, here’ and make a note of any physical feelings you may also have as a result, i.e. tense muscles, etc.

Allowing

After the acknowledging stage comes the stage of allowing yourself to be, any flaws and all, without judgement. You should look to recognise any imperfections and uniqueness in all humans.  

It is important to approach with a curious and non-judgmental mindset. Do not see any emotion as good or bad, right or wrong. Simply allowing it to exist for what it is. This should help in embracing any troubling situations and find peace with any difficulties experienced.  

Accommodating

After acknowledging and allowing, this next step on the journey is accommodating changes. We have observed and allowed the emotion and now we can question “Has this emotion (for example, distress) worked so far?” If the answer is no, it might be beneficial to try a different approach. Often, adapting the way you respond to an emotion changes the impact this has on you, as you are reacting differently. 

Putting this into practice may involve the following:

• Mindfulness – paying attention to the present thoughts, feelings and sensations
• Self-compassion – engage in kindness and understanding for yourself  
• Engage in actions that support acceptance – attending therapy or taking prescribed medications are good examples of this 

In conclusion, facing your feelings can be daunting. It can be a long, hard task and take significant work, but the end of the road can bring a sense of peace in letting go.

Written by Katie Ingram

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram: @katieingramauthor