Grief is a universal experience, yet it feels deeply personal when it happens to us. It’s a journey we all take at some point, but it’s never the same for any two people. It comes in waves, crashing when we least expect it. One moment you think you’re okay, and the next, a smell, a song, or a random memory takes you right back to the loss.

But what happens when grief goes unresolved?

Unresolved grief doesn’t just fade away quietly. Instead, it often lingers in the background of our lives, manifesting in ways we don’t immediately recognize. It might look like persistent irritability, difficulty concentrating, or a lack of motivation. For some people, unresolved grief shows up as physical symptoms—headaches, fatigue, or even chronic illnesses. Others experience a sense of detachment from life, feeling like they’re going through the motions but not truly present.

What’s tricky about unresolved grief is how sneaky it can be. Sometimes we think we’ve “moved on,” only to realize we’ve been avoiding the pain instead of processing it. This avoidance can look like overworking ourselves, throwing energy into distractions, or numbing the pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms. The grief is still there, waiting for us to acknowledge it.

The truth is, grief demands to be felt. Suppressing or ignoring it only prolongs the healing process. So how do we begin to address it?

The first step is acknowledgment—giving yourself permission to feel the loss fully. This isn’t easy, and it can feel overwhelming, but it’s a crucial part of the healing process. You don’t have to go through it alone. Talking to someone, whether it’s a therapist, trusted friend, or support group, can provide the space you need to express your feelings without judgment.

Creating rituals to honor your loss can also be incredibly healing. This might be as simple as lighting a candle, writing a letter to the person you lost, or setting aside time to reflect on the good memories. Journaling can be a powerful way to process your emotions. Sometimes, writing down how you feel allows you to release the thoughts swirling in your mind.

Grief also lives in the body, so don’t overlook the importance of movement. Activities like yoga, stretching, or even a gentle walk can help release some of the tension that unresolved grief creates. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t rush the process.

Healing from grief has no timeline, and there’s no right or wrong way to go through it. What’s important is that you take the time to sit with your feelings, honor your loss, and allow yourself to heal. Grief might always leave a mark, but it doesn’t have to define your story.


Written by Sarah Banda

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram @sarah.banda_

Twitter @iam_sarahb_