For many, December is a time filled with festivities, holidays and celebration. A time to be joyous and thankful. However, for some it is not a jolly time of year for many reasons. The main celebration I am thinking about is Christmas. It can be like Schrödinger’s Christmas – dreading to find out what is or isn’t behind the advent door. Some of the reasons that people may be apprehensive about the season are: 

• Some may find it hard to afford the expense of Christmas due to financial struggles and hardship. There seems to be a societal expectation placed on us in the era of social media influencing. Some people feel like they should be setting a certain standard with presents, meals or even pajamas. This pressure can be immense and tip someone’s mental health in the wrong direction. 
• It may be that some may be missing someone this holiday season. It can be difficult to feel happy knowing that there is an empty chair at the table that used to be occupied, or someone may be missed that lives far away. 
• On the flip side of this, if someone is away from home or lives a distance from loved ones, they may be spending the season alone which for some can be a daunting prospect. 
• Another reason might be that people find the holiday season challenging to spend with family members or others in general. There may be differences in lifestyles, opinions or values which make spending time together onerous.
• Some may struggle around food due to an eating disorder and this can present a whole host of challenges and anxieties. Christmas is a season heavily focused on food, so this can be gruelling to face, particularly around others. 
• It might be that someone just doesn’t feel excitement in the build up of the holidays or the celebratory days themselves. Someone might be in a mental hole and hoping for better days. 

Now that we have explored some of the reasons that this time of year can be troubling, we can now look at some helpful tips and coping strategies to remember in caring for our mental health:

• You do not have to answer any questions that you don’t want to or that make you feel uncomfortable – you can say that you would rather not talk about it, if you feel able to safely express this. 
• If you are invited to a gathering, dinner or event, you do not have to feel obligated to go, or to stay for the entirety of its duration. You can leave at any time, particularly if you are made to feel uncomfortable 
• Remember that if you have taken time off over the holiday season, it is your time off to enjoy. You are not obligated to spend this time with anyone – you can use this time to prioritise yourself, do what you want to do and spend it with who you choose to. 
• You do not have to let your boundaries be crossed just because someone is ‘family’ – you are entitled to protect your peace. 
• Your mental health is paramount and should not be compromised for fear of upsetting others just because it is the festive period/Christmas. 
• Remember to take a break if you are overwhelmed – if you are able to, step outside or take a walk. Or try some simple breathing techniques such as the 444 method (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, and exhale for 4). 

You do not have to go through any of this alone. There are many services open to reach out for emotional support to over the festive period including:

Samaritans: 116 123 (open 24/7)

Shout: 85258 (24/7 text service)

NHS: 111 (24/7 Mental Health Crisis Support)

This is a reminder to be kind to yourself and others at this time of year. Be mindful that not everyone has the same experience of Christmas or the holiday season, and not everyone needs to be merry and bright. 


Written by Katie Ingram

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram:@katieingramauthor