It starts earlier every year: the toy adverts, the Christmas countdowns and the media

ramming the rhetoric down our throats about how happy this time of year is for everyone.

Yeah, really?

Tell that to the person who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

Tell that to the person choosing between eating or heating their house.

Tell that to the person whose abuser visits for the festive season.

Tell that to all the people who find this time of year horrific.

Now, before you think I’ve been replaced by Scrooge, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t

be happy during the run up to Christmas, I’m saying that there shouldn’t be a social

mandate to paste a smile on your face that you don’t feel.

It may sound like a harmless request for a few weeks of the year, but it isn’t. Hiding our

feelings does no good in the long run. They won’t go away.

Yes, as the charity adverts will tell you even more times during this time, there are people

out there with problems worse than yours. However, that in no way should invalidate yours

or lead to you feeling that your feelings and experiences are not valid; they most certainly

are.

So, how do those who struggle at this time of year survive? Everyone will have their way,

but I thought I’d share a couple of things that I do that help combat the “You must be happy

because it is coming up to Christmas, no matter how you feel.” message.

1. I limit my exposure to the rhetoric in the media where possible.

Thankfully, as I do not have children, the toy adverts don’t cause me any stress. However,

the endless stream of charity adverts using the festive season to guilt people into donating

really does. If one of these starts, I mute the TV, or if I’m feeling very raw, I leave the room.

This action might seem extreme, but it works for me.

If it is social media where this is happening, I will either remove them from my feed or if a

person or organisation that I follow are doing it a lot, I block them.

2. I make it clear to any workplace that I’m not into Christmas.

Doing this often ends up with me being called Scrooge or Grinch, but it is much better than

what used to happen. I would feel pressured into attending Christmas parties and

gatherings and participating in other festive activities. All this would result in was me being

miserable and stressed.

I don’t explain why Christmas is not my thing. I don’t owe anyone an explanation (and

neither do you); I tell them that it is not something I’m into.

If Christmas is your favourite time of year, go for it. Fill your boots. All I would ask is that if

you encounter someone who doesn’t share your enthusiasm, please don’t try to pressure

them or make them feel bad for it. The chances are that they feel bad enough already.

Written By Lorna Smart

Blogger @Poemstellium

Instagram @lornasmartwordcrafter

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/lornasmartwordcrafter/